When I think about how many of us stroll and stride through our days glancing over miracles from a place of overfamiliarity and taking evident blessings for granted my heart hurts and my motives feel disrupted. However, I’ve stopped treating disruptions as the worst thing ever. I’ve started to breathe slow in the moments that I feel low and allow the loud moments to become as quiet as my heart speaks. I do this so that I can hear what my heart is saying, listening to what really matters. This is how I discover that the biggest blessing I have and can share with others is that I came into this world, loved. That seemingly small fact has continued to shape me and inevitably — shape the ways in which I view this world. If the majority of my perspectives are surrounded by the ideas of love and hope and goodness then isn’t that what I would spend most of my days externalizing? The answer is yes. As we pay closer attention to ourselves, we see that whatever we project, we also evoke.
The patterns of good in my life began to make sense when I learned how and why we project from the present trends in our life. Now, that doesn’t mean I run away from experiencing differently. Matter of fact, I’ve always had a curious nature about me which leads me to see, feel and even absorb aspects of a nature that is opposite of my “normal”. I fully believe that learning and even processing life from a different perspective aids in the most valuable growth. It isn’t necessarily easy but it has become more and more refreshing to sit back and think “what’s normal anyway?” and then move on, in purity. The most pivotal points of transformation in my life have followed the seasons where I experienced an opposing viewpoint and fought to return to the foundation of love that I call my home base. Over time, I was unknowingly creating new patterns. Being met with confusion, pain or any negative emotion and feeling like we have nothing good to offer is a common pattern for any one of us to cycle through. However, breaking off the old and creating the new builds lasting resilience. And so, showing up the best way I know how to means I project the good inside of me rather than reflect whatever is happening outside of me — time and time again.
The challenge to extend goodness amidst the things that most people wouldn’t label as “good” feels like a battle of sorts some days — and I don’t always win. There are days that I dive into cynicism and weeks where I distract myself with the superficial and shallow society I live in. You may do this too, but the key is not staying there. Fully adapting to a cynical mindset is stifling and heavily focusing on what went “wrong” minimizes our field of vision. When I let those thoughts and happenings define me, I become gifted at finding what I don’t like — about me, about you, about yesterday and even about tomorrow. This is when I am off-balanced and this is where I find myself looking for ways to describe my feelings behind “I could change, but why change?” On the flip, there are times when I allow what happened in or around me to reveal the areas in my life that may have been torn and tattered so that I can move toward repairing those areas, regardless if it stems from an internal or external circumstance. This is where I see the good — in me, in you, in yesterday and I can even cast it into tomorrow. This is where I’m open to change, knowing that repairing what is tearing is yet another way we can build resilience.
In this modern world where we try to prove how hustling and grinding is the only way to showcase resilience, the only rebel spirit I’m going after is the one where I stay fluent in empathy and give love, unconditionally. That sounds so easy but doing so has landed me plenty lost somewhere in between words and intentions along with being hurt by circumstances that end up feeling like a dream deferred. And still, I come back to the knowledge that my worldview need not be tarnished because of that. Over and over, I can and will pull from the loving moments that I’ve experienced in this life and project that view onto the canvas that is each day ahead. So many people, places and things will reveal the fact that everything isn’t good but that can’t be the reason I stop projecting goodness.
The days I choose to re-ground and re-grip feel long. Lately those days have turned into weeks and even months. I’m becoming okay with that. With every walk I take outside, nature reminds me that I can’t rush purity. And I’m in the work of returning my purest love, even when I’m hurt. If I know love can purify a heart, then I can trust that it also purifies the one who loves. I will unmistakably continue to see and feel pain in this world but if I don’t let doubt overshadow my worldview then I remain blessed.
I am finding more and more strength to keep assigning the good inside of me. Regardless of the ones who try to use it up, who try to steal it, and those who try to snuff it out — it is still present. I can keep loving; sometimes with words, always with action. It might be guarded, it might have an unfamiliar sound, and it might even look different to some but it will carry on. I work for this endurance because I ultimately know that my projections end up being a self fulfilling prophecy. As I continue to see this happen over and over in my own life I don’t question the fact that what we project, we also evoke.
