october days

i haven’t picked up my pen in weeks

i’ve lived, gently, turning pages
chapter by chapter, day by day

i’ve asked my mind why it runs, away
“do you not know how to land, safely?”

i’ve built castles of thought
next to trees of green
seeking stories untold
about the miracle of growth

i’ve watched the clouds billow
against a hopeful blue
shape shifters, light reflectors

i’ve skipped the stones, many a day
shaky became steady
and shaky again

i’ve listened for the dawn chorus
sending my prayers, to travel far
on the backs of birdsong
before the sun ever shows itself

i’ve seen leaves, barely hanging
october days, reminding me
there is nothing left to say
and plenty left unsaid

i’ve taken quiet walks
that turn into breathy runs

chasing
searching
seeking

only to find

no resolve
and a wish
that you would hold me, close