Evolve
We lose things, and sometimes we find things. When we find what we’ve deemed as lost it’s either found just like we left it or we discover some differences from what our memory serves us. Whether we consider these changes as good, bad, big or small I think that completely depends on the perception of the person who has been seeking the whole time.
I’ve learned this lesson more than once and definitely with more than one person in my life. Before looking at what was different and how I maneuvered growth after the fact, I had to take a look at what caused the diversion in the first place.
When I glance at my friendships over time I can see countless ways in which they’ve waxed and waned, how strangers became friends and then became distant and then closer than ever before. Most of this happened in ways I never saw coming but there might have been a couple times that I could have predicted the change of pace that was about to occur. The basis of a friendship are two individuals who share a mutual bond. That bond usually consists of care, trust, fun, respect, and support. I have found myself in the best of friendships when these things are being consistently reciprocated. However, life happens and humans’ abilities to provide those things can dwindle. When that dwindle starts to happen is when we start to feel like what we once had is lost. As time goes on we lose sight of what or why we put effort into because discouragement and frustration can be blinding. None of us are exempt from experiencing this with the people we consider friends in our lives. Like I said, we lose things and we also find them. So if it is lost it is okay for that to be its final label. Now, there are other times when life moves forward and you suddenly end up in a place of familiarity because you have found a friendship exactly where you left it. Rekindling has got to be one of the best feelings in the world, I think. Then, there are times when we find ourselves in similar territory but it is evident things have changed. Personally, I’ve found myself here quite often. Several times I have come to find out that certain friendships may have faded but they never disappeared. The experiences that I believed were lost because trust had been broken or because respect was gone somehow showed up again and there I was, finding a friendship in a new light. The only way I was able to see what was before me as a new opportunity instead of an old gloomy memory was because I had taken the time to accept faults and put effort into acknowledging what I deserve versus what I was dealt. Doing those things isn’t easy but I am considering it as improving our “value-meter.” Those steps are necessary to do in order to know what is for you and what is not. So, as these things came back into my sight I made the choice to re-enter into friendships with the people that are for me. With grace, I was filled with hope and excitement for what was in front of me. To me, re-entering feels like “navigating newness.” The newness of steadily building atop the fulfilling parts while continuing to release the disappointing comparisons of what could have been.
As I contemplate the many moments and feelings that come with the action of “returning” I feel as though time away and time apart only does one thing for me, which is evolve me in some form or fashion. Whether it is a small or a large evolution, I rarely feel like I am the same person returning to the same scenario. I believe everything experienced is a lesson learned, therefore I see so much worth in gaining new perspectives with every opportunity that life gives us. With the ability to evolve, we have the ability to enter again.
