everything, one day?
I’m the youngest and most curious in my family. Because of those reasons — along with a few others — I have become very familiar with hearing phrases like “I’ll tell you when you’re older” or “maybe one day I can tell you why, but not today.” Although I truly think that was one way for my older brothers to get me out of their business (rightfully so) I also see the value in that phrase as I grow in age and experience. It’s incredible how life will show you the reason for things far after we become less consumed with it.
Recently I got into a conversation that left me feeling similar to a very distressed eight-year-old Rachel that followed her parents around the kitchen asking “so why can’t we just print more money and give it to poor people?” only to receive the all familiar response of “Don’t worry about that right now, I can tell you everything about it one day.” Back then I would throw myself in a corner with my arms folded and my eyebrows disgruntled and think to myself you want to tell me “everything, one day” but why can’t you just tell me anything, today.
If we are being honest, I still have that thought. But now that I’m older my reaction is a little different — I usually throw myself in the bed rather than a corner. But no, although I do experience the same rush of emotions when I’m met with an answer that does not immediately resolve my curiosities, I have learned from my mistakes. I’ve learned that we rarely get the answer we want, let alone when we want them. As a kid I remained in the state of desiring to know whereas now, I’ve become aware that desire without purpose isn’t the best place to stay.
Then, I was a young girl who would react out of feeling like she had been denied of something she needed. Now, as a young woman who is more willing to listen to what her heart says it needs, I’ve learned to accept an answer as it comes — remembering that some knowledge is meant for me and some is not. You know, we hear about all the ways to learn a new thing but seldom do we hear about how to unlearn an old thing. I believe that wherever unlearning begins, so does healing. I also believe that because societal pressures and public opinions are loud, potent and quite influential the unlearning does not stop once we experience one breakthrough. To keep progressing, we must keep working. Sometimes the work takes place around a thought pattern, a habit, or even a perspective. One frame of mind would have kept me in my natural state of reacting with curiosity, but because growth gave way to a different mindset I now see how much more power there is in responding with curiosity. I must carry myself through this learning, it is no one else’s burden. The days that I accept this responsibility are the days I see where curiosity can deepen the areas of connection, commitment, and creativity in my world. Those elements matter to me, to my heart. I take what I’ve been given each day, harnessing my output so that I can maximize my intake. I would encourage everyone to do the same, position yourself with the aspects that matter to who you’re becoming. Begin learning about who and what makes you better and unlearn what doesn’t. It’s easier said than done, so remember that your effort will become a threshold — ultimately bridging you to your best self. Don’t you quit at the sight of a challenge, don’t let the hard things trick you.
